As I take down my Christmas Tree and retrieve the gifts which have been lying wistful under it for the past several weeks it occurs to me as i look at the bounty that I’ve reached a crossroads in my life.
I received awesome presents this year, however I have a cardboard box one foot square full of items which have made it extremely clear that I’ve become “that person”
Namely "that person" you don’t know what to buy for.
Here is a list of the items that tipped me off (mostly because these are the things I buy people when I don’t know what the hell to get them):
3 tropical fish Christmas Tree Ornaments
3 other misc Tree Ornaments
3 Boxes of Chocolate
3 Bottles of Red Wine
1 gift box of 6 french organic soaps
1 gift set of Jolly Orange Body Shop Products
1 Gift set of Pink Grapefruit Body Shop products
Hemp Hand cream
A Back Scrubber
Peppermint Foot Moisturizer
Carrot Moisturizer (what do I use this for???)
3 bottles of scented hand sanitizer.
1 Karma Bath Bomb from Lush
1 Karma soap from Lush
1 Black Currant soap from Lush (Its the Jelly one?)
8 nail files
1 nail buffer
……. yeah. Either people are trying to tell me I have a massive BO Problem and need to take better care of my hygiene or I need to get a new hobby where all the paraphernalia isn’t expensive as hell.
*sniff Sniff*….. *Shrugs* Smells good to me.
And don’t get me wrong I totally love the gifts (I love the expensive smelly shit and now I can smell yummy all year! Oh boy!), after all I think a lot of thought must have gone into them since there isn’t one scent there that I don’t love. (Smells I hate include: fake chocolate, vanilla, and rose. Kudos on the citrus, hemp, pachouli and yummy black currant)
So maybe I haven’t become “that person" after all. Maybe people just know that I like to take showers with awesome smelling bath products, could send all day at the Aquarium section of the Zoo, and that I like to eat chocolates and drink red wine.
Yeah lets go with that.
"And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky”
-Damien Rice “the Blower’s Daughter"